A really good question came up in last week’s Men’s group.
The question for discussion was:
What are you holding onto and stressing about. What is the motivation behind not giving it over to the Father?
Here is my emailed response, though it has been edited to correct some mistakes I caught in review, it is pretty close to the original response:
I am sitting in my living room and using it as an office. I am putting together a vision plan and strategy for the new year. This is new for me because I while I have done this in the context of a company or as a department manager, this is the first time I’ve done this as someone who is pursuing ministry as a career.
I know that some of this is new, and I promise I will follow this up with a post with updates, lessons learned and discussion on the couple of months of life here in Minarctica.
However, the point is that in all of this strategic planning, I am fighting the urge to focus on getting a “real job” or rebuild my consulting business, before I complete these planning sessions for ministry.
Here is the reason for my struggle:
I just received my severance package and after taxes and other deductions, the check if is a bit less than I hoped it to be. My instinct and desire is to try to control the situation by finding work to try to “earn my way” out of financial worry and panic that set in after looking at this check.
Here is what my emotional response says about the qualities of God:
1) God and His plans are not sufficient 2) God can not or will not provide for our need so he is either unfaithful or impotent (unable)
Now we all should know that neither are true. In reality, the Truth found in God’s word is:
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Matthew 6:24-33 – Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on…. …Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?… …Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ … …your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
In talking to the Lord and listening for His wisdom, this is what The Lord has placed on my heart:
- I have spent the last five (almost six) years with a longing to serve God and His people. The last two of which have led me into an actual depression.
- God Has provided ENOUGH work for me to pursue this desire. Even though my wife is working, we will struggle for a while until we adjust.
- In my experience, He has always been faithful to provide what we NEED even if it’s not what we WANT.
Therefore I MUST be faithful in my steps with the expectation that he will clear the next part of the path.
Thanks for reading and praying for our faithful steps.
What are you holding onto today? What belief is motivating you to hoard worry or stress? Let me know and we can pray for your burden and your faithful steps too.
Cheerfully serving in Christ.