I’m having another “Suck It Up” day.

My Problem:  

I want for praise and reward from this world (or my family/friends) very much but I am doing so little (non-kingdom building) work to merit praise or reward. The work I do for HIS kingdom, is for the Lord, and as Matthew 6:1-8 discusses, I don’t want or expect earthly reward for that effort. It is an effort made as an offering.

The short version is, I am doing something I luv to do in ministry. I am not doing much work that allows me to pay bills, and I am trying to keep my house together in the process. The side effects being that I am getting nothing in return to fill MY tank. (reference to Gary Chapman’s The 5-Love Languages. My primary languages are words of affirmation and physical touch).

The end result is that I am grumpy at home and while working, but perfectly happy at Church when surrounded by those who are also working for the glory of our Lord.

So essentially,  I look and feel like a schizophrenic boy scout. I keep trying to get my home life merged into my ministry life but EVERYTHING gets in the way… schedules, school, work, illness, and so on… I feel so empty when I am not working with MF-TGA or ISI/BIC that I ALWAYS want to be working on those things…  This of course means I am not at home to connect with my son, or with my wife (when that is even possible). The internal reaction is that the control monster in me comes out. When things don’t go according to my planned schedule and efforts to bond with my family, I become grumpy monster again… I can’t seem to catch a freakin’ break!

The Solution:

So what do I do? Well, for now… I suck it up…

As I read scripture today I have been reminded THREE times ( Colossians 3:17,  Colossians 3:23 , and Ephesians 6:7 ) that ALL of my efforts are to honor our Lord Christ Jesus and it is His reward and approval alone for which I must strive. I am told as well that I am not given more temptation to sin through my selfish behavior than I can handle, through the will of God and the Holy Spirit, (1 John 4:4 and 1 Corinthians 10:13).  Also I am to continue to pray to NOT be led into this temptation to begin with (Matthew 6:13). Additionally, I am called to LEAD MY EMOTIONS with wisdom and love and not the other way around. (Proverbs 28:26, Galatians 5:16-17, Galatians 5:22-23, and Ephesians 4:22-32)

So, though I am not alone and the Lord is with me. I have to make the CHOICE to look for his love and mercy through prayer… Like I said. It’s another suck it up day.. but Like the Lord says. the best is yet to come…  (Isaiah 65:17-25)

Take “The 5-Love Languages” quiz.: Here

Gary Cartagena is a dedicated husband and father.
He is Founder and consultant for Tek Management,
Founder of the Men’s Leadership site: CalebStrong.org,
Co-Founder of the online Bible study app: BibleCounts

View Gary Cartagena’s profile

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