RANT: There is no such thing as NOT lovable.

This rant was triggered by an episode of self loathing a friend went through. (better known as the “why doesn’t so-and-so love me” or “Will I ever find anyone who REALLY loves me?”)

I give the same advice to everyone, and sometimes what I have to say is NOT PRETTY but always true.

Brass Tax: If you aren’t “Loved” its because you aren’t Loving.

Putting yourself “out there” is more than dressing up and playing let’s make a deal in the dating scene. You have to be willing to show love unconditionally. Heck most people can’t even CARE unconditionally. This doesn’t mean be blind to glaring faults and it CERTAINLY does NOT mean go have sex with bunches of people looking for a “match”.

Both men and women want that connection with another human being. Many aren’t able to unconditionally accept the one they chose.
They want connection with out reciprocation, fulfillment without commitment. They trade intensity for intimacy.
Here is the reality: In every emotional exchange there is the requirement for reciprocation or its not a true exchange. In every intimate moment there is a level of responsibility or it is not intimacy.
Whether it is reciprocating respect by being responsible for your own words and actions, or making some level of agreement, commitment or what have you and following through. These are the things that are required to make any relationship work.
If you want companionship, take the time to CARE about another human being. Take the time to learn about them.
And for your own sake BE YOURSELF. BE HONEST and BE PATIENT.

I am in a Loving committed, AMAZING marriage with an even more amazing woman. The most amazing part about it is that we both take the time to be patient with the other. YES! I get frustrated and lose it. and YES so does she. (though I admit not nearly as often as I.) But we are both evolving, learning and growing In-Love, every moment of every day.

The time to learn about another is before you get into a relationship. Learn about each other, grow and communicate. Then, lets see where it goes. Life isn’t too short to make good decisions. However, Life is too short to regret the bad ones.

So, I have taken up the challenge. I will begin a new series. “What does it mean to show Love”.  I am not sure how long it will last yet. And I admit that part of this series will be a discovery process for me. How do I put into words the series of actions and lessons learned over so many years of failure and finally success.

And there is still some growth I need to do, and I want to do. Because the reality is, that I think we, that is She and I, are worth it.

and THAT is your first lesson. 🙂

Thank you for reading and for comments…
– Be Yourself, Be Well, and Be Loved,

Gary Cartagena is a dedicated husband and father.
He is Founder and consultant for Tek Management,
Founder of the Men’s Leadership site: CalebStrong.org,
Co-Founder of the online Bible study app: BibleCounts

View Gary Cartagena’s profile

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