This week, our little man, became a bit less little.
He turned 13 this week. This is a milestone in a young man’s life.
I remember, that at the age of 13, I was allowed to:
- first shoot a rifle,
- own my own pocket knife,
- ride my bike to friend’s houses,
- use the phone to call friends.
These are various freedoms we take for granted as an adult, but as a young man, these were all steps of responsibility and freedom.
Like me, Our son will gain new responsibilities and privileges:
- open ( but still monitored) access to the internet,
- his own email address,
- and possibly access to FB (still in discussion).
There are others, like he earned the right to his own phone last year.
We have to not just talk about it, we have to be doers.
As parents, we tend to struggle with letting go, or at the very least, holding on a little less tight. We gradually learn to give additional responsibilities and privileges as our children show us how much they have grown and matured over the years. At some point we actually have to choose to switch roles from guardian and gate keeper, to coach. Like a coach we are still the authority, (though my version of running laps is much less fun). Also, as a coach strives to help others develop and improve the basics of the game, we get the opportunity to come along side our young men and women and help them develop into the amazing adults they can become. By this time, they generally know the basics of right and wrong, appropriate and offensive. Our job is to help them navigate the gray and undefined areas.
We also get to help shape their future jobs, relationships and behaviors. We model positive work ethic with our efforts. We will be the model for positive financial behaviors through our own spending, saving and giving habits. We will model positive relationships through our interactions with spouses. Even our relationship with our God is modeled after our own relationship with Jesus. Our time praying, and studying scripture and our willingness to share and be God’s hands and feet, are all examples. Just as we are called to not just absorb the word, we must not just talk about these things and expect them to listen. We have to be doers. (James 1: 22-24)
James 1: 22-24 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves … for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was
We must put it into practice. Not only as an example to our children, but for all who look at us as a model of what Christ is to the world, so that they too do not stumble. (2 Cor 6:3 , 1 Cor 8:9-10)
Legoland Adventure 2008: Under Arrest at the Stocks
Our Little Man, the gatekeeper (Right), His best-friend (Middle), and Me (Left)
So, now we parents get to work on switching roles, to become “life-coaches” of sorts. I hope our boy looks to us for advice and discussion on tough thoughts and issues. I know I looked to my mom and dad when I was a teen. Again, we will still be parents and authoritarians, when the need arises, but I see those days become fewer and fewer as he becomes the amazing young man God has planned.
Even now, I wade through the memories and pictures of our adventures together. I will constantly pray for him and hope those adventures don’t ever end. And while I am very proud of the young man he is becoming, I still remember the day we took this photo, and I remember my little man, still little…
May Jesus have His way with your day
He is Founder and consultant for Tek Management,
Founder of the Men’s Leadership site: CalebStrong.org,
Co-Founder of the online Bible study app: BibleCounts
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